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Rockin the Falls
If they can somehow find a way to get to 23, they could have their own NHL team. DATELINE: WEDNESDAY 3:12 P.M. I left the house to pick up Drama Queen from school and take her to tae kwon do at...
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If I were Red Forman’s son
“I oughta vandalize your ass with my foot.” Red Forman On the right side of my blog it says: Who is J.R.? Take a martini shaker and add equal parts Ward Cleaver, Cliff Huxtable, Al Bundy, Phil Dunphy,...
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Carmageddon
To put it in simple terms–if you live the The Valley, you’re fucked. According to every media outlet in the LA area (I prefer to get my news from Kevin & Bean on KROQ), LA will fall off the...
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An open Letter to Motel 6
Tell Tom Bodett not to keep the light on for me, because I’m never coming back to their dumpy shitboxes. I wrote this post on Tuesday and sent the link to Motel 6 Customer Service. I also put...
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White dudes can’t dance
Chastity Bono had her front door permanently sealed, which means Chaz Bono is a dude. I’m not a racist. Nor am I sexist, homophobic or anything else that would suggest I don’t like people...
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I’ll have you know, sir
I pity your children. I’m not changing the name of the person who e-mailed me because, well, because I don’t really want to. Sorry if that makes me a dick, but he e-mailed me knowing full well I was a...
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Why I hate the Broncos: Or, Tim Tebow is a douche
As I said on the radio (more than once), “I can’t wait for the day Tim Tebow gets busted in the back seat of a VW with a transvestite hooker.” Me The opening week of the NFL finishes as it should,...
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Light beer commercials are lame
“Stay thirsty, my friends.” The Most Interesting Man In The World Lets be honest, domestic light beers all basically taste the same. It doesn’t matter if it’s Coors Light, Miller Lite or Bud...
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The Colonel is a hypocrite (and possibly racist)
“…C’mon. Let’s go watch the Dukes of Hazzard.” Redneck Kentucky Senator The other day I’m sitting outside my office, enjoying a refreshing beverage (Dew) on a sunny day, when suddenly my...
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Subway and Double D’s
“Hey. How’s it goin?” Is rhetorical. We really don’t care. It’s 10:06 on Wednesday night and I’m sitting at the counter in my hovel with my laptop open, iTunes blaring Stricken by Disturbed...
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Secret Agent Man
Grab a cocktail and enjoy. The daily grind is much quieter now that Jesus moved to a location that should triple his tailoring business. There are times I like it and times I don’t....
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Screw it
“Holy crap. No. I’m not happy. Don’t tell me to screw it.” Wednesday, November 9. 4:37 PM My 14-year-old Drama Queen stays with grandma on Wednesday nights because I do my radio...
View ArticleMy Two Cents–Penn State
I apologize in advance if this gets, uh, animated. It could possibly be the best 2:38 of your day. Or maybe not. I guess you’ll have to look and find out.
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Other priorities
What do you have? Here’s a great story for you. My ex, Baby Mama, is behind on paying child support to me. When we first split she was hurting financially so I didn’t pursue the issue. I was trying...
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The baby at the gas station
You are truly rad. Your friend? Not so much. UPDATE: It’s now being reported that the mother GAVE the baby to the woman at the gas station and that the baby was never actually dumped in a bag. Let’s...
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The Dodgers are insane
And in related news, rape victims are partially to blame. First things first, I am NOT a Dodgers fan. Nor am I a Giants fan. I grew up watching the Angels and have long loved the Cubs. This...
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Whitney’s greatest love of all
“Yeah,” I replied. “Pretty much.” By now everyone knows Whitney Houston died last month, most likely from overdosing on prescription pills. I began writing this post almost immediately after her...
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Elway, Manning, Tebow and why God hates me
He’s the kind of guy that you hate with a passion, until he comes to your team. I’m a Raider fan and make no apologies for that. I’ve loved the Raiders since I was a kid and I will until the day I...
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Why math is important. Science too.
“I mean, some cars tires turn faster than others…” Chelsea Tuesday night my Muse texted me with a link to a YouTube video and implored me to watch it because, “The dumb bitch really had me laughing.”...
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Can A Dad Take His Daughter Clothes Shopping (and Other Indignities of Modern...
J.R. Reed, on a rant about fathers who are treated as second-class parents. The other day was filing out some paperwork and got to the bottom of one of the pages and saw the picture above. To say I...
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